The Plague of 'Like'

Upon pondering the meaning of life, the philosophy of being, and the best toppings to put on a ham and cheese sandwich, I was faced with a terrible conundrum. More terrifying, I assure you, than the potential atrocities that could be bestowed upon my fictitious ham and cheese sandwich. Fictitious, you may ask? Alas, alack, woe is me – I have been caught! There never was a ham and cheese sandwich, or, at least, I didn’t encounter one during my linguistic crisis. Though, I suppose my problems could be solved with one. Hmmmm….nope! I’m getting distracted. You see, the ham and cheese sandwich was a ruse, a poorly done hook to entice you to my grammatical ramblings. Of course, I say this all in jest. Take not what I say to heart, instead treat it as a bit of lighthearted fun. I am here to provide a treatise on the deadliest epidemic to ever hit the likes of mankind – a creeping, invisible plague that invades your mouth and burrows into your tongue: the plague of ‘like.’

There is a slippery slope between appreciating the value of something, and deeming it overrated. When the object itself gains enough cultural momentum so as to become a wildly popular phenomenon, or simply a part of daily life, it often becomes overrated. Using the word ‘like’ as a filler between sentences and phrases is certainly an apt word choice to call overrated. ‘Like’ has become an automatic buffer between words and a sentence, its actual meaning rendered particularly irrelevant. ‘Like’ is not simply a sound to make when there is nothing else to say – heavens no! It has many proper uses. When used properly, the word ‘like’ describes personal preference and also compares two things as similar. This is an acceptable way to communicate. I have no problem whatsoever with ‘like’ being used in the correct fashion. However, ‘like’ is not used properly in everyday life. People, for lack of proper thought and deliberation, use ‘like’ between otherwise coherent words without enhancing the meaning of what they’re trying to say. 

The subconscious ease of using ‘like’ as filler has serious repercussions on the word itself. When the colloquial use of a word grows in popularity, and eventually surpasses its original meaning, the archaic sense is rendered obsolete. True, one doesn’t speak in the fashion of whatever classic novel they’ve read (unless, of course, they devoured Slaughterhouse 5 in a day, but that’s another story). The point is, transformation is a natural part of language. Devaluing proper meaning is another story. I simply will not stand for the improper usage of words, no siree, bob! As for what happens with unintentional malapropisms, we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it (pun intended). One may argue that meaning shifts are a part of the natural evolution of language, but the frivolous use of like has a distinctly negative result on its true sense. People begin to use ‘like’ once or twice, then more, and soon use it unconsciously to fill every pause in a phrase. 

Timing and silence are crucial to the weight of word. For example: “To be or not to be, pause that is the question” (Shakespeare). The speaker is contemplating suicide, examining the very nature of existence. He is poised, he is poetic. He has intention behind his words. The weight of life and death is simply not conveyed in “Like, to be or, like, not to be because like, that’s the question” (Nobody ever). There’s no more philosophy, no more mental fortitude put to the test in the second example. There’s only vain meaningless chatter. ‘Like’ is a habit that encourages acting before thinking. It reduces the intentionality of the word and promotes impulsiveness; the meaning behind what one is saying is disrupted by a constant flow of ‘like,’ ‘like,’ ‘like.’ I myself once suffered from the epidemic of ‘um’ and am  fiercely battling the disease of ‘like’. For me, ‘um’ invaded my mouth and took hold without my notice. Thankfully I broke the habit – every time I said ‘um,’ I was forced to do 10 push-ups, and subsequently became more intentional with my words. However, not everyone afflicted with ‘like’ has the good fortune to become free from it. Instead, they use it as a crutch habitually, placing it between almost every word until all is lost. Regrettably, ‘like’ is a plague upon the English language.