An Anti-Ode to You

Enter FOOL, typing furiously on a laptop.

FOOL:

Hear ye, hear ye, you all, bid me your ear.

I write this message to describe to you—

—Or, rather, then, perhaps to thee or ye—

A hatred which, in me, shall always brew: 

My sheer disdain, abhorrence and distaste

For one such pronoun in the English tongue.

Tis ‘you’ the pronoun, it can be retraced

To Early English roots from whence it sprung.

T’was used when one was speaking with respect,

But now, unlike in ancient days of yore,

The word no longer has such an effect,

Used both for whom we love and whom abhor.

‘Ye’ was the pronoun in the olden days

Used for all whom we trusted and we loved,

But if t’was but one friend we wished to praise,

‘Thou’ would be used to indicate our love.

All that is gone now, all replaced by ‘you’,

Never again shall thine eyes shine so bright,

Never again shall thy words guide me true,

For now, all this is yours, to you I write.

I can no longer tell ye what I feel,

I can no longer call thy thoughts absurd,

Tis all but you and yours; but you are real,

A dull, monotonous, soulless, lifeless word.